Monday, February 18, 2013

Favorites, Vol. II

It's that time again: a Jordan round-up. (Here's the first one.) Bear with me.

1. Belly Fascination

Since we found out about the new Bean, Sean has been making it a point to tell Jordan to "kiss Mom's belly" or "kiss your sibling." By now Jordan has gotten the hang of marching over to me and unceremoniously lifting up my shirt, and laying a big smack right on the bell. Somehow this has led to an overall fascination with bellies. She frequently lifts up her own shirt, stares at it for a sec to confirm it's still there, pats it gratefully a couple of times, and covers it up again. I don't know. It's a little hard to tell what's turning those cogs she's got up in there.

2. Follow the Leader

Jordan has been loving hand-holding. She is getting distinctly more affectionate, but I don't know if I should credit the leading around to that, or her insistence that I don't know where I'm going. She is constantly trying to redirect me:
"Well Jordan I actually was going to visit the bathroom for the 27th time this morning." (bladder's first to go in my pregnancies btw).
"No Mom, you're ig'nant. We're going to the kitchen. My water cup is in there and I need you to fetch it for me. It's better if you stoop for it; your back is old and tired. Let's not wear mine out."

Anyway it's all very endearing and I'm actually enjoying it quite a lot, except for when we're in public and we disagree on routes. Jordan gets fiery when my will diverges from her own.

3. Potty Police

Speaking of bathroom trips, Jordan is convinced that I need supervision whenever I venture in that direction, and she is bewildered as to how I've survived 26 years without her help. If she so much as hears an unzip or a lift of the toilet seat, she heaves herself from her play and waddles as fast as her diapered buns will take her  straight to the bathroom. She watches me intently (not awkward at all), retrieves about 5 squares of toilet paper from the roll and hands it to me proudly, then does some jazzy sidesteps between me and the bathtub to reach the flusher. As she flushes she shouts jubilantly "bbbbbyyye!!!!!" to the toilet water. So, potty training: thoughts?

4. Of the Cheesiest Variety

This pretty much says it all. Jordan has always been smiley but lately it's like: it's not a smile unless allll my teeth are showing and my eyes are mere slits. It's just about the best ever.

5. Mirror, Mirror

Sean and I might be in trouble with this one. Jordan's taken to climbing on the table and positioning herself in front of the mirror, smiling intently (see #4) and proclaiming: "oh wowww." This one's my fault. The only time she keeps barrettes or headbands on is when I make a big deal and say things like "oh wow, Jordan, that looks pretty on you." She's 18 months, what did I think was going to happen? So now we just have a little case of narcissism on our big deal right?

6. Madam Librarian

This child has all the markings of a world class editor, for serious. I've found that bringing several books in the car with us is the tantrum-whisperer, and wherever Jordan is, there is definitely a book within reach. Funny thing: she won't let me read to her. She has no interest in my voicing the story, she prefers to dump all her books all over her room, sit in the midst, and flip through the pages of one, toss it aside disgustedly (when she does this I totally imagine the editor in the Tobey Maguire Spiderman's, perfectly played by J. K. Simmons, barking "crap, Crap, MEGA CRAP") and grab the next disappointment, to be tossed aside after a quick page-flip.

Beatrix Potter: MEGA CRAP
7. Holier than Thou

The other day, too-eager-Sean sat down to eat next to Jordan and started in on his meal immediately. Jordan, her own meal ready to be eaten right in front of her, stared at him bewilderingly with her hands clasped for prayers until Sean noticed her. Sean definitely felt like a heathen.

8. Chatty Catherine

Ok we are having a word explosion up in here, but here's the thing: they're not English. Jordan is always  telling me something, in complete earnest. So I keep up my end of the conversation and see where things go. She is still not saying a whole bunch of real words, but her concept of context seems to be sharpening.

Examples: she can't even begin to pronounce the words, but if Jordan is concerned about something, she puts up her hands, cocks her head, and stammers "nguh-gah?" Pretty sure she's trying to ask "what's wrong??" because this is about what I look like when I ask her the same question:

Another example of her grasp on context happened a couple days ago. I asked her, casually, if she wanted to put her shoes on. She responded, casually, "uh-uh." Ok, the girl doesn't want to wear shoes, but she's not adamant about it. However, when I came at her with the Arch-Enemy Toothbrush, she cowered in the corner and whimpered "oh no no no!" This did nothing for her case. Her teeth collect crap in the gaps like no other.

Other words added since last time: not a whole lot...
go!! (in response to "ready...set...") * eigh (this one's weird: when we count to ten with her, the only time she chimes in is for the number eight, and she does it at the right time - ??) * uh-huh & uh-uh * oh! * wowwww
She properly identifies: eyes, ears, nose, hair, head, belly (her fave, natch), toes, cheeks, lips, tongue, teeth, throat (<----Sean teaches her obscure ones. I expect she'll be identifying her mandible and tibia and lateral incisors shortly.) 

You're up to date on Jordan and I'm positive your day is better for it. I'll let you know if she learns how cluck her tongue or cross her legs at the ankles or anything else of paramount importance. 


  1. My day is definitely better for it; "Beatrix Potter: MEGA CRAP" - absolutely hilarious.
    I'm off to read some mega crap to my littles right now.

  2. Pretty soon she will be talking up a storm and you won't be able to stop her. That's when the fun begins!!

  3. Haha, her narcissism is too good!

  4. i loved this post. she is such a crack up!

  5. Ok, being a SAHM to 5 I wanted to ask (regarding the psych test): At what point in my house am I beginning all of this?