Tuesday, March 12, 2013

accomplishments and notcomplishments

Perhaps Sean and I are the only parents that diverge in the most extreme of ways when it comes to name-giving of offspring? Perhaps I'm the only wife that is appalled at the suggestions that fall out of her husband's mouth? Perhaps he's the only husband that chuckles at one of his wife's offerings until he realizes she's serious? At any rate, there's a reason we start the name gaming in the first trimester. Dreams of future children's monikers have to be crushed, eyes have to be rolled, et cetera, et al.

It takes a little longer around here anyway because I have to field the utterly ridiculous. I'll give you a taste:

"Jess, how 'bout Budweiser Chance Pope? We can call him Buddy!"
"I got one: Camaro Chevy Pope"
"Oooo! Jon bon Jovi Pope!!"

Sure, sure, I'll grant you that a driving factor behind even speaking these not-names is to see my brows furrow to the point of connection and my mouth gape aghast for the briefest before I wave Sean off to go screw with someone else's mind. But I'm not lying when I say that I'm not entirely positive, if left to his own devices, that he wouldn't actually name an innocent child one of the above. I'll show you why:

Three of his favorite shirts. Didn't even have to dig through his drawers for these, they were all in the just worn/gonna wear it again tomorrow pile next to the bed.

In the meantime, I'm putting genuinely thought-out options, which I'll give you examples of because I've been assured that they are OFF THE TABLE FOR-E-VER:

"Sean, what do you think of Sienna Katherine?" (I liked this one because it can be shortened to a cute Sienna Kate and her patron could be Catherine of Siena.)
"No. I don't want to name my daughter after your parents' minivan." (Toyota Sienna)

"Ok, what about Piper Isabelle?" (Pip Pope. I'm in love with it.)
"....Oh. You're serious."

So the grand accomplishment of 2013 thus far is that we've arrived at boy's name for this bean, should we have a boy. The one thing about name-deciding between Sean and I is, when we've hit the right one, we both know right away. That's how it happened with Jordan. I said "Jordan Elizabeth?" and Sean said "Absolutely."

I'm not telling you the name though, sorry. Cackle, cackle. But I suggested it via text to Sean a couple of weeks ago, and I got an immediate "Yes. yes. Lock it in." quickly followed by "No one would mess with a kid named ---- ----." Well that's exactly what I was going for...an intimidating name for my son. Should we have a girl, however, I'm not quite sure what we're going to do other than maybe call her "Girl." or "Child." I have an arsenal of lovely girls names that I can't even get out of my mouth before I hear "ew" or "NO" or "seriously?" or *eyebrow raise*

My notcomplishments are piling up around me and threatening to end my very life. I'm clearly resting on my laurels from last week's Spring Cleanfest (alternate titles: Clean or Be Killed: A Husband's Guide to Surviving Nesting or Run, the Hormones are Coming) as evidenced by the following hot messes

 Current living room situation
 Current kitchen situation - kitchuation, if you will
Yesterday's daughter situation

Although I am a little partial to the post-nap faux hawk and am considering baby gel to replicate it whenever I please. But perhaps not the most fem?

I'm also resting on my "I haven't gained any preg weight" laurels, and haven't gone on one of my walks in three weeks - a situation to be remedied today. And while I haven't gained any weight over the five pounds I lost in my first trimester, I've gained three pounds in the last week, undoubtedly due to those stupid cookies that both Ana and Grace maliciously recommended. So...three pounds a week. That rate will put me at +69 by August? Perfect. 

To recap, what I have accomplished in the last week: naming my child in the event I'm having a boy (mental effort only). 
And nothing else.


  1. It's tough enough to come up with a name in this family. Good luck with the girl's name before the due date.

  2. It sounds really difficult to pick out a name that your kid, who you haven't even met, will have for the rest of his or her life. You can do it though! :)

    My brother, who was 3 when I was born, wanted to name me George Plimpton. Yes, a girl named George Plimpton Hutchinson. So if you are interested in George Plimpton Pope, I don't think the name is taken by any females.

    The Brayn of Chalayn

  3. Oh man, baby naming gets so crazy.
    We're always ok on the girl front, but we just have to stop talking when it comes to boy names.
    Sean's name choices are hilarious, as well as that picture of Jordan-- so priceless.
    I can't wait to see what you have and find out the name!

    And now I want to go make those cookies reeeeeeeeeeal bad.

  4. Yeah man coming up with a name in the Schuberg fam is so hard cuz there are so many kids and everyone has really normal good names. Plus, Jimmy wants to stay away from names that are already taken, so it's imposs--er, uh, tough. Can't wait to meet this new Pope child and hear the name. : )

  5. 1. Stupid everyone posting those stupid cookies and stupid Lent and stupid. I'm not bitter or anything.

    2. Baby names are the best part of babies (except the cute little fingers and toes and chubby cheeks and overall adorableness). Unless you have to name your own babies. Then, I actually believe that Mars/Venus thing is true. And my husband gets an idea in his head and has a reeeeeeally hard time wrapping his mind around anything else. And we've only named one so far! Aaaaah! Seriously, though, you're killing me with your nondisclosure thing. I mean, I get it. You're just killing me.