Monday, April 15, 2013

i guess that makes me helena bonham-carter

Yesterday was a simultaneously tragic and jubilant day. Sean and I finally freed our daughter of her '80s hair affiliation, which I'm sure is something of a relief to her, as it must get exhausting to constantly channel a young Bret Michaels. From the other side of things, however, Jordan worked so hard for that hair her whole life. Let's consider:

 zero years old and balding. what an ominous prospect.

 sixish months old and pates to show for it.

she wanted hair for her birthday and all she got was this sprinkle doughnut.

I finally put my foot down yesterday though. Jordan's hair is such that she still has basically nothing on top, but it's flowing like a stallion's mane behind her, and I can't let my daughter be subject to ridicule (via mostly my family, but occasionally my own self) any longer. This is why Sean and I got our Sweeney Todd on; but to be clear, we weren't out to butcher anything. Well, not intentionally but we may have murdered fashion and a little bit of Jordan's self esteem with our botch job.

 compliant in her own demise

 the grave offender

 take a good look

Sampson and Delilah

"why didn't the brush get stuck on a huge crib-woven rat's nest?"

I feel that maybe I was on the brink of hysteria over this decision. I was laughing and laughing for the duration of the haircut, and as soon as I held that defeated little pigtail in my hand, I nearly had a tearfest of epic proportions. I think I'll chalk this one up to pregnancy too because I refuse to believe I've become this sentimental. I saved the pigtail as only super-creeps and moms will do, and I take comfort in the fact that I can still admire Jordan's 20 months of hard work.

Sean snatched the scissors and "evened out her bangs." """"""""""""" 

But you know, now that my eyes have had time to adjust and to mentally erase all the flaws and oversights, I think Jordan rather channels a chic, young Shirley Maclaine a la The Apartment.

But then...I look at it from a different angle and she also slightly echoes King Curtis

Chicken nuggets is like my family. see it too.


  1. Hahaha, this is the best.
    1) I have the very same brush, TWINSIES!
    2) I cry almost every time I have to give a hair cut,
    3) I can't believe I just admitted that,
    4) I always keep the hair, like a creepy, or just overly sentimental mother,
    5) She looks adorable!

  2. You are funny, Jessie. I've been trying to think of a witty comment to write but I just can't.... so, yeah, you are funny. And I am boring. Bye.

  3. First of all....welcome home. It looks like it was a great (and so relaxing) trip. I'll bet Jordan was a thrill for your folks.

    Love the new "do" too.