Wednesday, April 3, 2013

raining and pouring and silver lining

As fate would have it, we've had a series of unfortunate events around here in the last few weeks. They all seemed to come at once, as mishaps will do. Instead of weeping over the spilt milk (which there is quite a bit of around here because Jordan likes to dance really enthusiastically with bottle in hand - please see below - and inevitably gets her expensive organic milk more on the ceiling than in her fat belly) I'm trying to find the upshot. Very Anne of Green Gables of me, yes? Every day is fresh..with no mistakes in it.

I think the soundtrack to this epic moment was "It's My Life" by bon Jove

Stormcloud the First:
Sean's Mustang, which he must must have because it's the most awesome most badass most manly car and who cares if it takes 20 minutes to get Jordan's carseat in and out of it because it's a sporty two-door?, suffered cardiac arrest this last week. The engine just....exploded. Or something. If you don't know, engine replacement is just about the biggest b of an expense. You'd think the flippin' engine was made of diamond, but we have managed to find a "deal" (let's just say, a deal compared to the $6500 we were originally quoted).

Silver Linings Playbook
Sean has been driving my sassy little Toyota since his car's out of comish for the week. My mama was good enough to let me commandeer her Subaru, and guess what: it's a fantastically convenient little SUV for Jordans. No stooping to buckle, which is getting much harder with the ever-expanding belly (mine and hers) and oh so much more leg room. But the BEST part: XM radio. No commercials! I have sooo been bustin' out the "'50s on 5" and "'60s on 6" channels because those songs bring me back. As a born and raised homeschooler, I grew up on K-Earth 101 oldies and my dad's old mixed tapes. I heard Silhouettes! Oh my gosh, it kills me. The '50s were totally formulaic, but it's the type of chemistry I can get behind. And Just Dropped In by Kenny Rogers (such a good jam), which obvi just conjures up classic clips of Lebowski

The Dude Abides

Stormcloud the Second
I've been doing this mothering thing for what, twenty months now? In a shocking turn of events that no one saw coming, it turns out I'm still a TOTAL NEWB. Jordan really likes to "talk" on the phone. But here's the thing: to Jordan, anything is a phone. My glasses case is a phone. The remote control is a phone. My cream colored flat has been known to be a phone, as has my gold flip flop.

"beebee" can be a phone too

So does an actual iPhone have to be a phone? No, it does not. I could have handed her a golden retriever and it would have sufficed. And yet I trusted my toddler enough to let her "talk" on it while I obliviously chatted away with my mom in my parents' backyard. If you'll refer to my first photo of the post, you'll remember that Jordan likes/loves/is obsessed with dancing. When things get crazy to the tune inside her head, you don't know what's going to happen. But in this case, what happened was Jordan twirled and twirled and twirled my $??? phone right out of her hand and firmly onto the concrete. The thing shattered. You won't believe it, but it still works. The case is in a million tiny shards though, and I don't think I'd have fingerprints anymore if I had continued to try and use it.

Silver Lining
My mom is like my pimp. She immediately phoned up her "connection" and is bringing my phone in to be replaced for about 1/5 of what it would have cost me through Apple. I'll be without an iFix for four days, but this is a further silver lining: I'm detoxing. No more checking the 'gram every 46 seconds. No more blog rounds on bathroom breaks. I'm using Sean's old phone for straight up communication - what a concept...

Stormcloud the Third
Sean and I have been passing a cough back and forth to each other for weeks. It's obnoxious. It's the most unsatisfactory cough too. It's just dry and hacking, and to cough doesn't provide any relief - that scratchy itch   still lingers in your throat. Do you know the one? It has invaded our sleep patterns too. Right now, I'm the one with the cough, and I have been hacking a lung every night since Thursday. Consequently, poor exhausted Sean has dragged himself out on to the couch so as to escape my interruptive tri-hourly cough episodes for the last three nights. And I'm not really sleeping much either.

Silver Lining
Yeah, you got me. This one just sucks. Maybe that I've been buying the crazy expensive just-squeezed-from-the-oranges-in-the-backyard orange juice and I'm using this cough to justify it? Vitamin C yo.

Stormcloud the Fourth
Jordan is in love with her cousin.

All I want for Easter is you. And mayyyybe that Tootsie Roll pop you're clutching.

Silver Lining
They make a cute couple.

See? I did it. I made lemonade.


  1. Hahaha! :) I wouldn't worry too much about Jordan and her cousin (they are a cute couple though). I told my brother when I was little that I wanted to marry my dad. He said, "You can't, he's already married!" to which I replied, "Fine! I'll marry you then!" Twenty-ish years later I am a happily married to someone who is NOT blood-related despite the fact that my dad hasn't been married for ten+ years now.

    I'm sorry about all of your stormclouds. Replacing an engine is the worst - my first car had to have two "new" engines so I feel your pain!

    Keep on thinking about those silver linings! ;)

    The Brayn of Chalayn

  2. I check reader and FB in the bathroom, too. The shame...

  3. Oh dear....don't they say things happen in 3s??? Those two are too funny! I'm sure Mikey liked the attention.

  4. Ugh, I've had that darn cough for weeks, too. Horrible. Prayers for you

    1. It's THUH worst. And Jordan kind of got it too. If this is the Kristen I think it is...playdate again sometime? Maybe even a park playdate since it's been so nice out?

  5. Aw, Jess. I love you and I love this post. I wish I could come bring a bottle of vino over RIGHT.NOW. Oh shoot, you're preg. Well, I'd prob still make you drink.

  6. when it rains, it pours...sheesh! I once blew up an engine too...totally sucks...luckily I had Michael to replace it but still had to pay for the new engine. ugh! Also, don't feel bad about the phone...I dropped and cracked my last two iphones all by myself :/ I pretty much never take the case off of my phone anymore...if I do, I can expect my husband to quickly and sternly remind me to put it back on!! Lastly, don't forget that pic of Sean and I kissing when we were toddlers...cousin love! It'll turn out alright :).

    Hope your streak of bad luck is over!!! :)

    1. Oh yeah, I'd give my left arm to have Michael handy for that last bit of car trouble. That used up some money we didn't really have...

      You and Sean did make a really cute couple :) I want to see you!! Are you so so pregnant now?