Anatomy of a Pigtail

It's a big day when your baby daughter finally has enough hair to pull into a pigtail. For some of you this day was the one after you gave birth to her. But my daughter looked approximately like this

with just a thin film of copper hair (that fell out shortly thereafter) and a preemie outfit she was swimming in. She completed the look with a discomforted stare of unfamiliarity that screamed "You don't look like a uterine wall!"

For others of you, you must wait months and months before you can execute the mockery that is a girl's first pigtail. I Instagrammed this sucker about two months ago:

but notice how you're more focused on the big bald spot than the little squirt of hair protruding directly from the back of her head, which is pretty much the only place Jordan's hair grows. So I decided to hold off a little while longer cuz I didn't want the kids on the playground giving her a hard time. Then this past weekend the three of us went out for a little Sunday Funday. I decided to accessorize Jordan's overalls and checkered button-up (they were purple checkers, ok?) with another attempt at the elusive pigtail.

We started out ok - although you'll notice that Jordan's scalp still takes serious issue with growing hair on top of her head, so the best I could do was gather her mullet:

To achieve my look pair staying up too late Saturday night watching The Big Bang Theory with a 7:30 a.m. Mass in which your daughter was too rambunctious for even the crying room, and be sure to hold the eyeliner.

Anyway please note the peppiness and sprightliness of Jordan's fresh piggy. It's ready for adventure. But after a lenghty afternoon cruise down to Malibu for some outrageously priced fro-yo and some poking around, you are left with what I call "I took a nap in my carseat piggy":

Does the profile bring anyone to mind?

I think I'll just stick with barrettes for a few more years.