Friday, November 2, 2012

#hashtag

It occurs to me the title of this post is slightly repetitive. It's ok.

I, Jessie the Obdurate, have not caved to The Facebook. I do not participate in The Twitter. I have not ventured into The Pinterest. However, I must admit to the world and my readers that I check The Instagram like twenty-six times a day. Sometimes (and you'll never get me to admit to how often I mean by that ambiguous adverb) I check Instagram and go to "like" a photo, then realize that it's 57 seconds old. I don't want people to think I'm on there all the time so I close the app and bide my time until another Instagram urge hits me 7 minutes later. That's an appropriate wait period. Like away.

Now that you have the backstory I'll get to my point. I'm not a big hashtag user. I did it a couple of times but I felt weird about it. I don't have a problem with it, nor am I annoyed by it, but I've just concluded it's not for me. Be that as it may, I have lately found my thoughts peppered with an alarming amount of hashtags. Does this happen to anybody else?

I was in the store a couple weeks ago and saw that I missed a call. I listened to the voicemail a friend left me while waiting in line to pay out. This particular message was chock full of different emotions, and they all played out on my face - I went from being aghast to laughing to feeling deep pity to smiling like an idiot, all inside of 45 seconds or so. I hung up the phone and realized that an elderly gentleman was watching me the whole time with a not-subtle smirk on his face. #creeper #embarrassing

At Barnes & Noble Jr. the other day I turned around in time to catch my progeny enjoying a solitary moment in a sea of children:

#loner

Or today when I was five minutes away from my destination I hit this mess, lengthening my commute by another fifteen minutes:

#killme

 Jordan was thwarted the other day in her hopes of crashing a birthday party at the park:

#whitegirlproblems

 Observing Jordan's inability to keep yogurt in her mouth even after 8 months of practicing:

#movember


I think what I'm trying to say is I might have a problem. I feel like my thoughts should flow a bit smoother and not be interrupted with these jagged sentence fragments or remotely related adjectives preceded by a tic-tac-toe layout. Instagram is laying siege to organized thought. It's time to #stickittotheman; #takebackthiscity; #rageagainstthemachine.

#whoswithme ?

8 comments:

  1. This is hilarious. Found your blog through Kate@The Rhodes Log and am loving it!!

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    1. Thank you! Naturally I've clicked on your name over to your blog and congratulations on your very beautiful family and your brand new addition. So wonderful.

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  2. You can blame Grace for all the obnoxious comments you'll soon be receiving from me. Put yourself on the twitter stat, young lady. Your knack for the hashtagging needs to be enjoyed by the masses! #seriously #noreallynotevenjoking #see? #Isuckathashtagging

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    1. I will thank Grace because comments are so exciting! And it's fun getting them from someone I don't know too :)

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  3. Hilarious!! I love this post. I literally only think in hashtags at this point. I literally write emails to my co-workers in meetings that only consist of hashtags: #worstmeetingever #getmeoutofherenow, etc.

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    1. Right? I do it ALL the time! I'm glad it's not just me.

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  4. i totally check instagram all the time. it's all good!

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    1. yeah but you need to post more cuz your pics/captions are always so funny. and thought-provoking.

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