I, Jessie the Obdurate, have not caved to The Facebook. I do not participate in The Twitter. I have not ventured into The Pinterest. However, I must admit to the world and my readers that I check The Instagram like twenty-six times a day. Sometimes (and you'll never get me to admit to how often I mean by that ambiguous adverb) I check Instagram and go to "like" a photo, then realize that it's 57 seconds old. I don't want people to think I'm on there all the time so I close the app and bide my time until another Instagram urge hits me 7 minutes later. That's an appropriate wait period. Like away.
Now that you have the backstory I'll get to my point. I'm not a big hashtag user. I did it a couple of times but I felt weird about it. I don't have a problem with it, nor am I annoyed by it, but I've just concluded it's not for me. Be that as it may, I have lately found my thoughts peppered with an alarming amount of hashtags. Does this happen to anybody else?
I was in the store a couple weeks ago and saw that I missed a call. I listened to the voicemail a friend left me while waiting in line to pay out. This particular message was chock full of different emotions, and they all played out on my face - I went from being aghast to laughing to feeling deep pity to smiling like an idiot, all inside of 45 seconds or so. I hung up the phone and realized that an elderly gentleman was watching me the whole time with a not-subtle smirk on his face. #creeper #embarrassing
At Barnes & Noble Jr. the other day I turned around in time to catch my progeny enjoying a solitary moment in a sea of children:
Or today when I was five minutes away from my destination I hit this mess, lengthening my commute by another fifteen minutes:
Jordan was thwarted the other day in her hopes of crashing a birthday party at the park:
I think what I'm trying to say is I might have a problem. I feel like my thoughts should flow a bit smoother and not be interrupted with these jagged sentence fragments or remotely related adjectives preceded by a tic-tac-toe layout. Instagram is laying siege to organized thought. It's time to #stickittotheman; #takebackthiscity; #rageagainstthemachine.