Wednesday, December 19, 2012

I Saw Jordan Kissing Santa Claus

J-Liz has been running amok in her last minute attempts to ensure a bountiful Christmas for herself. She's starting to get creative in her means to draw (positive?) attention from the Man in the Red Suit. So far we've seen:

1. Correspondence with the Subject

2.Ballroom Dancing with the Subject
Santa fears for his mannequined-life as Jordan goes in for the dip.

3. Physical Affection toward the Subject
This kiss was slightly more PG-13 than I can approve.

4. Emulation of the Subject

It's the Little St. Nick.

Oddly enough, Jordan did not take advantage of her face-to-face encounter to impress upon Santa her winning personality. Upon being plopped in his lap, she did a record-breaking wind-up. You know the tantrum that starts with a short initial howl, but then the child holds her breath for a solid fifteen seconds while debating whether she wants to pass out or unleash the fury, as the parents determine whether to administer CPR? Yes, we had one of those, which sent the Man Himself fleeing from his own cottage. So we're left with
Mom and Jo occupying the throne, with Santa banned from the premises.

Sean is clearly a newb at this and didn't capture the epic meltdown which always make the best Santa shots. Myself, I was always a Viking of a child and never would have done something so embarrassing as to cry in front of Santa. Santa. My sister Mary though, she was a delicate flower of the pansiest variety, and bawled year after year. Let's just say her Christmas haul was never as abundant as mine.
l to r: Chicken Sausage, Biggest Faker of "Nice" Ever (he's probably pinching my ankle skin here), and Warrior

Jordan's gift horizon isn't looking so promising at the moment. Santa has only acquired for her a sweetass pair of pumped-up kicks
 but Santa has no concept of delayed gratification and couldn't wait a week to see Jordan prancing around in the sparkly. Between this fact and Sean's and my pact to not purchase gifts for each other in favor of acquiring a new computer after Christmas, there are exactly zero presents under our Christmas bush. Ebenezer Scrooge resides here.

But Jordan's tactics may work yet....Old Navy has been having killer sales (did you know?) and Santa's got a GapCard that swipes just fine there. We'll see what we can rustle up. If nothing, do you think my one-year-old will remember the slight?


  1. Loved the picture of you guys when you were little. I remember that!!! You have to have the forever treasured photos of the meltdowns. Very cute and I love the shoes. Wonder if they come in my size and lime green. Hmmm.

  2. i am not surprised jordan would go for such tactics. she handed so many things to blake to make friends.