Thursday, December 13, 2012

It's About that Time

You know the one. It's the holidays, so I'm thinking I'm not the only one double-fisting peppermint bark and ginger cookies right? *cricket* Midway into the season I have to take a long, hard, painful look in the mirror and reassess, regroup, and consequently redouble my efforts to live a sat-fat-free lifestyle.

Here I go again on my own...

I would finish that isolationist lyric were dieting and/or healthy eating the only road I've ever known. But in my belly of bellies I must admit to having known -quite recently in fact - roads constructed of eggrolls; roads paved in German Chocolate cake; roads embellished with toasty dip touting spinach and artichokes as the main ingredients, when one forbidden, irresistible taste will confirm beyond any doubt shadow that they are actually sour cream and mayonnaise. I guess Sour Cream-Mayonnaise-HeartAttack Dip doesn't have the same appealing ring. But clogged arteries never tasted so good.

My place of business this time of year is fraught with the aromas of my coworkers' baking endeavors; our brokers' efforts to buy our affection with chocolate (I can't decide if it's working yet....maybe one more 4 pound box of See's please?); Christmas cookie exchanges; attempts on my life via overeating.

Basically, this has been me:

I'm the duck.

But let's consider:
 
a) Healthy Roasted Zucchini  

  • zucchini: 36 calories for a whole cup. throw in cancer prevention and cholesterol lowering agent. 
  • olive oil to your taste: bolsters immune system
  • kosher salt to your taste: in proper doses, good for blood cell and vessel preservation
  • ground black pepper to your taste: improves digestion
4 measly ingredients popped in oven at 450° for ten minutes, turning once to cook evenly = scrumptious, healthful, low-cal, Jordan-approved snack (as evidenced by her signed "PLEASE" belly-rub for seconds and thirds).

but look at this and tell me truthfully that you're not dabbing drool out of your lap:


  • 2 1/4 cups all purpose flour: starch, starch, starchity 
  • 2 tsp. ground ginger: ok alright, a natural remedy for colds 
  • 1 tsp. baking soda: um, when mixed with vinegar it's a good cleaning agent?
  • 1 tsp. ground cinnamon: oh look, more health boosters in this recipe - antioxidants!
  • 1/2 tsp. ground cloves: hey now, this recipe is lookin' up - antioxidant and anti-inflammatory!
  • 1/4 tsp. salt: not so much that it'd hurt anybody
  • 3/4 cup butter, softened: (wa, wa, waaaa)
  • 1 cup white sugar: plummeting downhill at breakneck speed...
  • 1 egg: trying to redeem the recipe...
  • 1 Tbsp water: no harm, no foul
  • 1/4 cup molasses: better than sugar or corn syrup, worse than chia seeds or green beans
  • 2 Tbsp. white sugar for later: kick this recipe while it's down
If you beat the butter and sugar until fluffy, then add the egg, water and molasses, followed gradually by all the dry ingredients sifted together, you'll get delicious cookie dough which you must roll into balls and douse repeatedly with the 2 tablespoons of sugar (which in my case, turned into like 1/2 cup of sugar). Then you should bake them in an oven at 350° for ten minutes. 
 
Then, you should do what Sean does and pretend not to be interested and wait until I leave to put the laundry in the dryer then STUFF YOUR FACE. When questioned about it, just look at me and whimper "They taste like Christmas..."

So truthfully, if you were me, what would you choose? Wouldn't you concede that there's merit to both? For right now, I must choose the path of most resistance in recipe A. But at least it's still tasty, it's just not a ginger cookie damn it.

If you need me, I'll be the one in the middle, except Mickey-Sean will be splitting a zucchini into thirds, not a piece of carb-loaded bread, thank you. And if you've seen Mickey and the Beanstalk, then you know I'll eventually go mad with hunger and try to spear a live cow with my fork.


5 comments:

  1. The holidays are the worst! Not to mention the vast amounts of wine I am consuming on the daily.

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  2. I am a friend of your aunts and read about your blog. I will add you to my list!!! Love your recipes!

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  3. Please take a photo when you spear the live cow with the fork. PLEASE!

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  4. I have seen Mickey and the Beanstalk! And if I remember correctly he sliced a bean in thirds to split it up? I don't know though, it doesn't really matter.

    Have you had Cookie Butter from Trader Joe's? You probably have... not sure if you like it though. Anyway, the point of me saying this is that I like Cookie Butter and I found out last year that if you smear it on some sort of spice cookies (Betty Crocker gave me the recipe - add water and oil) it is The Most Delicious Thing. Again, I have not had these ginger cookies of yours so maybe this is a bad idea. But zucchini sounds good too.

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